To Love Oneself…

To love oneself…

What does this even mean?
We all have different understating of the word love…
A fleeting irrational, animal response? A mere feeling?

Most often people relate the word love, to “romantic love” between two people, in a relationship, but even the meaning and understanding of what a relationship is so distorted nowadays… We are more “connected” than ever, but more isolated than ever before, especially from our own selves. The only real home and sure source of love we’ll ever find, our own souls.

I believe real love is more than just a feeling.
Real love is a verve, and a most potent sacred force making the world go around…
Unfortunately, language often impedes us to make sense and even express of all our feelings…
The same with love, which yes, is also a feeling of affection, care…
Eros love, includes attraction and feelings of lust…
But real love goes beyond fleeting momentary feelings, real love is a virtue and a divine gift.
I shall attempt to deconstruct or sketch a clear picture of what this love looks like:
First of all, real love encompasses the words:
Kindness
Compassion
Acceptance
Understanding
Patience
Forgiveness
Attention
Empathy
Care
Resilience
Precede the word “unconditional” before all the above…
Now I could go into defining each of the above as well, but I trust we can all look up the meaning of the afore mentioned and get a clear understanding of what they all mean.
Although these words might look all “fluffy” and rosy, rainbows and butterflies, spring everywhere…
They are actually the most difficult things to practice, for us humans, trapped in our ego shells, but they are the most powerful and redeeming forces for any one of us.
So when it comes to self love, where to start?

First by accepting yourself, sounds simple right? Easier said than done.
Accepting our messy, broken selves who everyday we try to change according to societies expectations of what we “should be” as humans.
From a young age we are made to feel inadequate and ashamed of our short comings, some more than others….
So this is the beginning, accepting who you are warts and all, and realising you are not just your “mistakes”, “defects”, but realising that these things are actually what shape you into the unique wonderful individual that you are.
Realising that it is through these struggles you are actually being polished into the diamond that you are.
Realising that there’s nothing wrong with you, you are just the way god, the universe, the providence, nature, whatever you wanna call it intended you to be… Perfectly you.
This is the first step to self love.

Acknowledging yourself in all your glory as not just a pile of negative adjectives of everything the world told you, you “should be”, but being real with the truth of who you are, and being proud of that. Sure, you are not perfect, you could have a million defects which you want to change but we all do, but the first step in changing or “improving” any of those defects or bettering yourself in any way, is by first acknowledging who you are in the first place, acknowledging and loving ourselves into “better” versions of ourselves, not outcasting or berating ourselves for certain parts we are not quite proud of or we don’t like.

For example you could have a fiery temper, and tend to feel anger which you often try to deny, keep contained or reflect onto other people, until eventually you explode… and then you give yourself even more of a hard time for “losing control”, or being an asshole, or a bad person or whatever the condemning thought might be.
The first step is to have compassion towards ourselves, for having all these feelings and unhelpful thoughts, being human and vulnerable and simply not perfect.
Then gently, being aware of certain tendencies or unhelpful habits we might’ve picked up throughout the years for whatever reason, and try to transform them into something more helpful for ourselves and others.
For example that anger, passion, all that energy can be a powerful force for transformation, for taking action towards a noble cause with compassion and benevolence above all. Because we know hate or any destructive action doesn’t benefit anyone, it only damages all parties involved.

So it’s about acknowledging yourself in all your glory and go from there…
To illustrate this, in my experience, I’ve always been an anxious person for as long as I can remember, given my “difficult” upbringing, trauma etc…
For years I tried to negate, hide this anxiety and deep sadness I felt, I just didn’t want to acknowledge them because the feelings where too painful, they were real, but I thought they were a nuisance I had to ignore and just “get on with it”. I lived totally disconnected from my emotions, trapped in my mind, telling myself how “I should” feel instead of owning up to my feelings and which lead to years of destructive behaviour. First of all, I hated myself for all the things I should be and I wasn’t, I hated myself for all my “mistakes”, so often I kept myself isolated, I lived behind a mask, never showing my true self, all my pain. It was only when I opened the doors of my own heart to myself that I could be free…

I started to feel deep compassion for myself, because my anxiety and sadness where there for a reason, I’d had a difficult past, I’d gone through some very rough things that would leave anyone sad and anxious, and there was nothing I could do about the past, the past was done, but my emotions which I didn’t allow myself to feel, where still stuck there because I never allowed myself to process them…
So I started by accepting my past and the feelings that came with them, and realising how it was ok to feel everything that I was feeling. What’s more, I realised these experiences where actually a gift, these deep suffering allowed me to become a more compassionate person towards those in pain, these experiences taught me how to forgive, myself and others.
These experiences taught me the way to love.

Now I realise, there’s no such thing in the universe as mistakes, everything happens for a reason even if we don’t realise it or understand it at the time, everything is a lesson, everything is working towards the evolution of our better selves…

So back to loving myself,
This means forgiving myself for all my mistakes, things on retrospective I could’ve done better? But hey! We all try to do the best we can with what we have with what we have and what we know at the time, so what’s the point in dwelling on the past?
We can only learn, and move on, wiser than before.
Second, loving myself means being true to myself, in all aspects.
First, it means acknowledging my past, all it’s pain and owning it. It means acknowledging all my emotions, not judging them as good or bad, just allowing them to be there, and have compassion for how hard it is sometimes to feel a million things at once that my brain can’t even process.
Loving myself means chasing my dreams, it mean having the courage to break out of my shell and create a life I’m proud of, a live that reflects my values….
Loving myself means loving others around me as well, and not being ashamed of this love, not being scared of being who I am but beaming proudly all this Love I carry within me because, heck it’s a treasure I’ve worked hard to find, literally through many years and tears.
In practical terms it means, acknowledging all my moods, all my physical sensations and acting mindfully to take care of each one. It means being present to my life every second. Being grounded in love.
It means accepting my body as it is, scarred, hairy and all.
It means nourishing it with healthy food, it means giving it the rest it needs.
It means taking care of my mind, nourishing it with wisdom, allowing it to rest and have some fun as well.
It means taking care of my emotions and listen to what they are trying to tell me…
It means making peace with myself, from the constant war… it means working with me not against me…
It means unity, mind, body and spirit…
It means learning to trust myself, my gut, my intuition.
It means being true to my values and beliefs and not be ashamed of being who I am
It means having patience with myself…. having endless compassion for my ego and anxious mind.
It means living a life that makes me happy even if others don’t understand…
It means being in touch with my real self, my soul, endless love.
It means being a compassionate, nurturing mother towards myself.
It means being deeply aware at every time of what I’m feeling and thinking, and grounded, respond accordingly.
It means being mindful and present to my life.
It means acknowledging all my desires and feelings and not keep them exiled or be ashamed of them.
It means reconciling my heart and mind.
It means spreading that love I have within me with others and everyone around me in any way I can…
It means trying to make the world a more loving place.

“To know thyself is the beginning of wisdom.”
― Socrates

I love you naked

To you beautiful dear stranger…

I see you and I love you, as you are, with all your quirks and all your fears.

With your freeting, anxious mind.

With your many mistakes and defeats, with your gloriously messy life…

There’s nothing wrong with you, you are perfectly imperfect you.

I love your eyes, your sad eyes from which many tears have come.

I love your mouth, that which eats too little or way too much. That which can never find the right words to say…

I love your stubby nose, that with which you can savour the fresh healing Spring.

I love your ears, those which expectantly waited for words of love…

I love your hair, that which you waxed, dyed and cut yet it’s still there graciously trying to keep you warm.

I love your crooked teeth, those sturdy yellowy soldiers you haven’t brushed enough.

I love your bulging belly, that one you so desperately try to flatten.

I love your flat chest, even though it’s now silicone clad.

I love your neck, sustaining your skull and the chaotic brain inside.

I love your thighs, those reduced from persistent exercise.

I love your back, your crooked spine.

I love your behind, that one that’s bony and flat.

I love your arms, those you use to give your favourite; hugs…

I love your fingers, those tipping this words…

I love your legs, those you used to run away from yourself, those that every time found their way home…

I love your feet, those bearing the weight of your existence.

I love each one of your toes, those for whom you don’t usually spare a thought.

I love your body whole, that martyr you often reject, that one which made you feel ashamed…

I love your crazy mind…

I love your lonely soul…

I love your bleeding heart…

My whole life I felt like something important was missing… Like I’d been abandoned and was all alone, defected and incomplete. 
My whole life I was always uneasy, restlessly looking for that something missing, for that someone I had to find, to feel love, to feel whole.

I thought I had to become, to strive, to transform into something other than me. 
I thought maybe one day I would graduate into being, that one day I would earn my worth.

Little l did I know that someone I was searching for was closer than I’d ever imagine, it was you all along…
The love of my life looking right back at me… ever-suffering you.
Through the good times and the bad you stood by me, patiently, benignly waiting for me to come to my senses and see you, acknowledge you, embrace you and love you like I am now, wholeheartedly and fiercely, like it’s the only thing I know how to do…

 
Because I’ve realised there will another you, who loves me as much as you do, who has so much love to give so freely, often to be rejected, but now I’m ready to receive it. I’m ready to commit. I’m ready to take on the world with you by my side, even when it’s dark, I’ll have your back. I’m sorry I made you cry and tell you to shut up. I promise to cherish you and fan the flames in your heart. Together we’ll chase dreams, together we’ll comfort and pick each other up, now together we will never be alone. I won’t never ever leave you behind, on you I’ll never give up.

 
I’ve realised now I was always whole, full of mighty potent love, bringing me back to life.

 
So watch me now as I open the door, please come inside… Watch me as I lift you up and carry you to me, sit in my bed, it’s not the most comfortable but it’s all I’ve got.
I’m broken and I’m broke, without many assets but this one precious heart to be your confidant, to write you poems and bring you flowers, to take you dancing and together explore the world.

Everything I have, all that I am is yours now, to treasure and to nurture the way only you know how… To dissect and discern, to decipher and to probe, to find the answers I don’t even know….

Let me dry the tears from your eyes, let me brush your hair back and run my fingers through your mane… Let me stroke your arms just the way you like it, let me make you tea, the one you wanted. Let me cook you food it won’t make you fat.

In my arms you are safe dear, you can rest. Your secrets I won’t tell. I won’t judge and criticise. You can put down your mask, your shield and armour, there’s no need to hide, you are free to be, free to feel, free to shine, blow out and reignite. 
The load you carry around, I’ll help you unpack, make yourself comfortable, feel free to lay back…

Inhabit this humble abode, this physical vessel, mind and soul are yours to forever honor and uphold.

You are enough, you have always been enough.

Lets stop this fight, it’s time we made up.

Welcome home

Courage, dear Heart

This walking in the dark; through the cool mist, trying to palpate the face of uncertainty… Feeling the abrupt wind slap my face and pierce my core as it gushes past me, thrusting my body forward and back, diligently, ever so carefully whispering at me rushes of air from every angle…
Walking at the mercy of the elements’ temperament and capriciousness, with no protection or life-cover, no road map or compass…
Guided exclusively by my curiosity and rapid heart beat…
Like a babe left alone to feebly, clumsily almost comically start to stumble and take his faltering first steps…

This fascinating exploration of the most remote, dark cave, in the utmost depths of fantastic, uncharted, new-lands, where no predecesor has ever gone before…
Where it will lead or what I may find nobody knows.
And so I take a deep breath and keep walking…
This floating in the infinitude of Unknown space, of endless, unexpected possibilities…
Of fleeting comets, shining stars, supernovas and black holes, alien constellations and whole different worlds…
Where my next breath is not guaranteed.
No one knows with exactitude just how long this oxygen tank will last.
And I know this illusory ground I walk on is shifting quicksand…
Any minute I could step on a trapdoor and fall through.
I know this for I’ve already fallen through.
I’ve been falling from the minute I was born…
And where I will land nobody knows.
Or if I ever will. So why am I expecting a landing? Or to reach a destination?
Expectantly awaiting the next station and missing the breathtaking view along the way.
And so I take a deep breath and continue plummeting through this cosmic tunnel….

Like an autumn leaf being graciously swept in whirlwind through a congested maze of concrete, in a confounding metropolis comprised of a million different landscapes… Dark-alleyways, leafy-boulevards, underground subways and bunkers, rooftop patios in sky-scrapping lego block buildings, opponent monuments, secret hideaways, public arenas and amphitheaters, shopping malls and amusement parks, quiet parks and deserted parking lots, junkyards and serene lagoons, shady neighbourhoods and privileged quarters, a whole array of different landmarks and destinations, inhabited by a colourful assortment of a million different races and ethnicities of busy human ants, young and old, rich, poor and everything in between… Where and at whose feet this leaf will land is anyone’s guess…

So is this falling through life… left, right, up, down, forwards and backwards, sideways and swerving, slowly and fast, spiralling in every direction, life is no straight line.
Nothing is guaranteed, and just what we’ll see and be presented with is anyone’s guess… The present always being a surprising gift for us to unwrap the minute we open our eyes for a brand new day…
Despite our calculations and best predictions and expectations, despite a certain degree of the predictability perhaps derived from monotonous and sheltered existences… As much as we’d like to think, we know where we are going and try to cruise control, the reality is there are a million different external factors affecting our existence over which we have absolutely no control over, and really the only thing we can control is the presence we have in this very second.
For the past and future, are right now as much as an illusion as the dreams we carry inside.
Unsettling, freeing and empowering realisation all at the same time.
And so I take a deep breath and continue gliding through this whimsical rabbit hole…

And so I’ve realised that’s its this process of falling, of walking and being swept, of journeying along that counts…
Because somewhere along the way we become what we are, we grow into our own skin, we find the guts to grow the balls, to bite the bullet and brace ourselves for an ever present winter… To show up for our existence no matter what the weather.
It’s about realising this tumultuous falling is our evolution…
Realising that through this process, through time, through experience, through the many wounds which heal to become scars, we develop a shell, an armour, a protection from the weather and impending chaos of the outside, which then prevents the disruption or minimises the impact of any external turmoil on our internal ecosystem and inner harmony…
It’s about not just helplessly falling anymore, but dexterously unfolding our wings, those we never knew we had to begin with and purposefully going along with the flow of life…
It’s about growing strong and hardy along the way…
Yet at the same time conserving our essence, the ingenuity with which we started, remaining authentic, cultivating our keen, sensitive hearts and becoming ever more vulnerable and intuitive at the core.

It’s about integrity; becoming whole. A fusion of mind, body and soul.
It’s about having what we say and do align. It’s about reconciling our hearts and minds.
It’s about conquering our fears and shining the light on the scary shadows that use to give us a fright at night. It’s about realising our limitations, and making peace with our imperfections. It’s about daring to speak our truth, untying the knots on our throats and breaking free of the bindings tying our limbs, hearts and minds and daring to start crafting our visions and living our dreams, regardless of contrarian opinions or pessimistic forecasts… It’s about expecting things to go wrong but daring anyway, because we know we’ll be ok. Because we’ve realised there’s no such thing as failure but that every mistake is a valuable life lesson, regardless of how awful it might feel, how wrong it may seem or how difficult to overcome it might be.

It’s about falling and getting back up again and again and never giving up, changing course if necessary but continuing to march. Its about no longer constructing our castles up in the ethereal air of false promises and passing illusions, but in the solid ground in which we’ve fallen, in the rugged reality of our flawed humanity in an imperfect world, where things don’t always go right and without fail we will make mistakes.
It’s about opening up and welcoming pain and difficulty, because we’ve realised that it’s through the fire that we are polished.

It’s about daring to be accountable for all our actions and taking responsibility for our existence. It’s saying “Yes, thats my mess and I will clean it up”, “That’s the bed I made and I will lay in it”, “Yes, I fell, but I’ll get back up again.” It’s about learning to mend the ruptures in the fine linings of our souls, recognising where we’ve gone off course and then gently and compassionately, picking ourselves up, kissing better our own wounds, nursing back to health own our souls and once recuperated dare to try again and build the bridges between where we are and where we wish to get to…

It’s about seeing our rise and fall as alchemy, a process of transfiguration.
It’s about collecting life lessons, like pebbles along the way, souvenirs for our souls.

It’s about understanding that we are the creators of our own luck and architects of our own destinies, because no matter where life may take us, ultimately we do have the power to decide what we settle for and what we strive for. Wether we choose to be passive victims of our circumstances or choose to take mindful action and take ahold the reigns of our life’s. It’s about exercising our full beings, mind, body and soul and growing flexible and open minded, tolerant and resilient. Letting our hearts marinade in suffering’s potion, grow tender and be cleansed of ego’s condemnation and futilely vain agenda. Letting go of what we think life should be and accepting what is, trusting, hoping, knowing that everything is working out for a higher good… Trusting that everything we may encounter along the way is serving a purpose, even if the reason is not immediately obvious or agreeable with our perception.

It’s about realising that just because things don’t go our way, it doesn’t mean it won’t be ok, but learning to trust the Universe and it’s wisdom, the Mystery and many things we can’t understand… Being ok with not knowing and letting the uncertainty excite us not paralyse us.

Because we’ve realised there’s no such thing as dumb or random luck. The universe is wise, and in all its wisdom it has allowed for human life to flourish. And so we can rest in the knowing we are ruled by these mighty wise laws we might never be able to fully comprehend or decode with our limited human sciences, so we do well to respect and uphold in revenrence and awe and coexist with the Mystery.
Embracing the Mystery. Because one thing is for sure, if the universe and all its wonders have conspired for us to alive in this very second is not for us to just merely exist but rather to thrive; to become a full expression of our humanity, exploit our gifts and talents, experience a full range of emotions, take a hold of our existence and leave a print where we are standing…
To flourish like crazy beautiful wild flowers, which withstand natural and man-made oppressions and against all odds bloom and delight us with all their splendour…
Like every other living creature lovingly crafted, so are we, called to unravel to our full potential, fulfil our purpose of being uniquely ourselves and so find our own beat and style and join in the rhythmic, kaleidoscopic dance of life…

It’s about realising this journey is not of becoming or achieving anything in particular but rather realising and fulfilling who we already are in all our magnitude.
It’s about becoming acquainted with ourselves, realising there’s no need to “find ” ourselves in external sources, or try to construct makeshift alien identities and looking outside for external validation… But instead turning inward and befriending the stranger that’s been with us for from the start, our worst enemy and best friend. Its about opening the doors of our hearts, coming home to ourselves and filling that vacant seat of honour in the thrones and driving seats of our lives. Letting go off everything we’ve learnt we should be and embracing and nurturing everything that we are… both the good and the ugly.
Because we’ve realised that’s it’s only when we accept what’s already there that we can become anything else we might wish to be….

It’s about realising that no matter what life will throw our way, we will be alright…

Because despite the 99.9% of things we can’t control there is one thing we are the sole and rightful governors and custodians of, ourselves.
And it’s in this .1% where our freedom and power lies…
It’s about realising that despite where the currents of life may take us, we have the power to create our realities wherever we are, through what we choose to pay attention to, through our attitudes, through our actions…
It’s about becoming aware of this enormous power and with it, this great responsibility.
It’s about understanding that every action has a reaction, and although we are free to choose, we are not free from the consequences of our choices…
It’s about learning that, that which we saw we will harvest… Good, bad, or nothing at all.
Not because there’s a patriarchal, condemning judge or law enforcer overseeing the universe who will give you punish or reward each person according to their behaviour but simply because of physics and laws of the universe which although we might not be able to fully to comprehend we are all bound by and no one can escape… And although we may try to deny it, although our intellects may try to device loopholes, and we may try to philosophise and argue white into being black, the reality is we can’t fool ourselves, our hearts intrinsically know right from wrong. Wether we choose to uphold it and act accordingly we all have a moral code we are born with, ingrained in us at conception.

So its about understanding that wether in this life or the next, call it karma or law of reaction or whatever else you like, it will catch up to you, eventually.
But even if never does, it’s good to do good anyway, for we are the sole espectators of our own lifes from beginning to end and from our consciences we can’t hide.

It’s about understanding that life can either be seen as the most absurd tragedy or trivial black comedy in its entirety, scripted by the most accomplished sadist author with a questionable, crude, sense of humour… Or as the greatest fable, an epic saga; tales of love, truth, justice, courage, a testimony to the sacredness of the human spirit.

A universal saga of boundless proportions, the greatest story ever told in which these empirical, timeless virtues will always rule supreme and will always overcome despite the adversity, endless hurdles and torrential curve-balls thrown our way…

Tales in which each one of us is called to be the author and main character, heroes and villains…
Tales which will tell of the many dragons we slayed, the many frogs we converted into royalty and of all the many times we ventured off and climbed into the tallest tower of the greatest castle in the highest mountain of a far far away land to liberate and revive many a damsel in distress… Tales which will tell of the many tempting apples in which we met our downfalls, our many Waterloos, and kryptonites… But then, just when we thought we were done for and as our oppressors were preparing to have their final laugh, the miracle happened and something in us resurrected, we embodied yet another superpower we didn’t even know we had; courage, resilience, hope, a human heart…

It’s about realising that as protagonists and authors ourselves, we have the privilege and power to choose the genre these tales are written in, even if the backdrop and scenes have already been set for us, we still have free reign to choose the next plot twist, the moral of the story and even if not necessarily how it will end, we can choose what we lived for and what we dared to die for.

So I’ve realised that in this wonderful precipitation that is life, all that’s required is for me wholeheartedly show up, to say “Yes” to life’s audacious invitation, to come forward, let life’s mystic envelop me, take me into her sturdy, playful arms and propel me onto this miraculous journey, all I need to do is be fully present for each marvellous and terrifying moment. So even though I have no idea where I will land… All I know is it’ll be alright.

For I’ve been falling long enough now to understand life has a funny way of always working out…
So I’m learning to let go of the way I think things should be and just relax, be patient and trust the intuitive sophistication of the flowering of life, everything in due time… As long as I’m present and living from my heart, taking advice from my mind, honouring my past and exercising its many lessons while expecting and equipping myself for an unexpected future, no curve-ball can do no harm, but everything is simply another chapter in my epic saga…

And so I’ve realised that in this life everything we are called to do is to continue plunging and rising again, perforating celestial stratospheres, pushing the boundaries of our human limitations, forever breaking new ground and reaching milestones we didn’t even know existed… Falling ever deeper, bonding ever more intimately with tantalising uncertainty and the ambiguity of life… And in the process, graciously unfolding ourselves, shedding our cocoons and exposing glimpses of our hearts through the magnifying covertures of our actions; the deeds and tales, legends of what we dared to do or regretfully neglected to in this animated, awesome vortex out of which anything can be expected, but where nothing is for sure and only one thing is guaranteed, no one will come out alive to tell the fantastic tale, all we can do is fully live it while it lasts…

So I take a deep breath and keep on walking, floating, falling high into the open everlasting, limitless heavens… Now with my eyes wide open, relishing at the views, taking field notes, and photographs, collecting momentoes, making pit stops to stretch my legs, talking to other travellers and making friends along the way. My heart heart is now exposed and our only protection is the love it radiates, and it’s sheerly obscure skies ahead…

“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.” ― Rainer Maria Rilke

Human; all too human…

I want to speak for those who do not have a voice…
I want to pay attention to those who are never heard…
I want to understand the misinterpreted and translate the obscure, blurry, hieroglyphics between “us” and “them”…
So this is for you who are hurting, taking refuge in those dark corners of an eternal night, hiding or left behind.
I want you to know you matter and are a part of this as much as those who are up on stage, whose glossy images are propped up in shining lights and who’s names the walls ricochet…

I want to let you know you who are hurting, that your pain won’t last forever.
You are not alone alone in your struggle, we all carry within us a yoke it seems sometimes we can’t bear…
We all have monsters tormenting us… Our hearts all keep secrets… Emotions no one can escape…
We have all been blessed and cursed with sentient hearts, thinking minds and conscious consciences not letting us sleep at night.
We are all learning as we go along, we all just want to get by and if we are lucky thrive…
How or why we arrived at the grand theme park that is life, no one really knows, all we can do is try to enjoy the ride and take in and put out as much as we can, while we can…
Everyone is doing the best they can, with what they’ve got and with what they know…

Life didn’t come with instructions…
Although there’s many manuals we’ve made up, many theories we’ve conjured up… Truth is no one knows you better than you know yourself.
The trick is to attentively listen when your heart speaks, kindly quiet your mind, reconcile the two and together, synthesised, in harmony lead your life… To be aware of the ego and the games it plays…

To have compassion for your frail humanity and in this know you are not alone. And so extend that compassion to everyone around you, for we are all fallible and finite and its hard for all of us…

Because pain is an unavoidable natural phenomenon of life we all must learn to bear the best way we know how, and this is constant transmutable process…

Because hopefully through our pain we will learn. Because every battle scar makes our souls more noble and sturdy.

Because every pain beared is another monster slashed, another mountain conquered, another medal earned.

Because without without pain and difficulty we wouldn’t know stillness and satisfaction…

So know this…

In your shame, you are not alone… When someone made you feel defected, almost alienated. When you weren’t being accepted and didn’t feel appreciated, needed to be validated… For all the times you were rejected, nastily degraded, your self-esteem negatively affected… For every time you wanted the earth to swallow you whole, or quickly crawl into an imaginary hole. For every one who ever said you weren’t good enough, and ridiculed you with scornful laughs. For every instance you felt profound humiliation was your condemnation. For every time you were teased, made fun of and mocked, insultingly provoked. For every time you had to endure some sort of abuse, treated offensively without excuse, left to in shame suffuse and your pride reduce. For every instance you were ever left questioning your worth, depreciating your soul… For all the mortifying secrets you keep locked away in your heart, wanting to be erased by your mind. There’s someone here, who can see past that brave but frail, fake smile, someone who knows you really ain’t alright, someone who knows that those words really hurt deep down inside, that those actions were vulgar… There’s someone here who’s been there too, affirming your truth in its entirety and sharing in the mutual embarrassment…

In your fear, you are not alone… For all the sweaty palms and racing hearts, for all the times you felt paralysed, when horror had you petrified… When you were close to panic, so you started acting erratic. For all the times you got chills down your spine in the face of something scary, real or imaginary… For every time you ever felt intimidated, but resolved to not let terror leave you incapacitated so a risky feat you initiated. When your monsters were incarnated but you bravely motivated of courage you appropriated and another phobia vindicated. For all the seconds spent in the grips of impending doom, when unsettling uncertainty seemed to loom. For every time dread held you back or you impulsively betrayed your heart. For every time you closed your eyes to jump but you either froze or run…. Through that constant anxiety, feeling like something bad is going to happen… Through your courage and bravery, there’s someone here who’s been too, holding your hand, having your back, being your cheering squad, telling you you’ll be fine, it’ll pass, you’ll see it through the other side…

In your sadness, you are not alone… For every time you felt down in the dumps, like nothing could cheer you up. For every time your sou’ls wounds were bleeding and needed some compassionate healing. For every broken heart and every tortured poem penned at night. For every goodbye kiss and every the lover that you miss. For every tear shed and illusion shred, when heartache seemed to spread… For every time you felt depressed and by woe possessed. When anguish was a constant state, when you felt like misery was here to stay. For every ending and melancholy tolerated. For every hour spent in sorrow and mourned like there was no tomorrow. For every time you felt your world was coming to end, for every moment of overwhelming despair. There’s a someone here who’s been there too, consoling your heart, padding your back, providing you the tissues to have a good cry… Telling you that although it now hurts, the pain too will come to an end, you will smile again, time will heal and kiss those aches away and even though I can’t repair your loss know that love will once again grow…

In your anger, you are not alone… For every moment of consuming fury, for every instance you were left you fuming. For every occurrence that made you bitter and made your sunshine wither. For every time you felt you needed to yell to express your discontent. For every second of exasperation, perhaps caused by a repetitive incidental irritation. For every of moment of perceived injustice, perhaps you witnessed something destructive, so by anger you were made captive, enraged and disgusted. For all the times you wanted vengeance, amend a debt left pendant, regardless of repentance but thought twice and realised violence was just more petulance, anger wasn’t the answer so you controlled your temper. For every thirst of revenge, wanting to let loose and wrench, satisfy a vindictive quench. When you were victim of an aggression, perhaps in the middle of a contention… For every second of impotence and frustration, when in indignation you demanded an explanation. For all the episodes of uncontainable rage, for every time you felt betrayed, like the world was just not fair, and nobody gave a care for your welfare. There’s someone here witnessing your cause, hearing your discharge and giving you a glass to smash… There’s someone here to remind you that don’t have to be hash back, gotta cut the world some slack, resentment will only harbour more hatred, so just breath and left off steam, let the anger move through you and be released…

In your envy and jealousy, you are not alone… For every time you were disturbed by the thought your lot was being threatened, your territory being invaded, so your turf had to be defended. For every time you were suspicious your brother’s intentions could be malicious. For every time you caught yourself lusting, onto foreign objects grasping. For all the times you viewed your brother as your rival, concerned for your survival. For all the times your insecurities bred resentment opportunities. For all the times you felt possessive, mistrustful and obsessive. When your ego started whining, after what’s not yours pinning… For every time you were by greed possessed and started to covet what was on the other side of the fence. For all the times your eyes were bigger than your belly and you didn’t believe in sharing. When you just weren’t satisfied with what you’d been supplied, what you had wasn’t enough, you wanted to accumulate more stuff. There’s someone here who’s been there too, eyeing off the neighbours goods, but reminding you that life is not a competition, your brother is not your opposition so put down your ammunition and let go off your needy disposition. Instead count your blessings and don’t obsess over your earnings. Realise there’s no need to be stressing your assets are extensive and through life you are progressing. There’s someone here who’s been there too, to remind you to appreciate your current state, see it’s already great, there’s really nothing missing so let go of greedy wishing, what you’ve got is sufficing, so instead start grinning, you are already winning, life will keep on giving. Desire can drive you crazy but gratitude is a better attitude. So remember you you’ve got enough, you are enough, life’s already lush…

In your loneliness, you are not alone… For every time you felt secluded like by the world you were eluded, from humanity excluded. For all the times when someone’s absence made for a desolate ambiance. When you felt like a recluse solitude had produced. For all the times you felt abandoned and yearned for a companion. For all the times your friends were no where to be seen or you felt you didn’t fit in, like an outsider trying to squeeze in. When you were surrounded by many but seen by none, when you felt like a stranger from a foreign land. So you sat alone questioning your worth far away from home… When your loved ones weren’t near, and there was seas between you and those you held dear… There’s someone here to keep you company to alleviate the solitary agony, together in harmony. Theres someone here to interrupt your desolation to remind you are part of a global congregation, we are all in relation. We can be together in unity, a solidary community, like humanity is supposed to be. Theres someone here to remind you even though you are alone, doesn’t mean you are not loved, there’s always someone near just a call away on the phone… Also, remember sometimes solitude can be a welcomed state where you can meditate and your own company appreciate…

In your worry and doubt, you are not alone… For every time your mind raced with a million possible scenarios of what could do wrong. For every time you forgot if you left the stove on. When you just couldn’t seem to let it go, when preoccupation seemed to grow, anticipating woe or regretting what happened long ago. For all the endless sleepless nights when you thought the money wouldn’t be enough, wondered why life was so rough and things at home were tough. For all the times you wondered how long the struggle would last, your world was just spinning too fast and had a gloomy forecast . For all the times anxious thoughts disturbed your peace of mind, when just you couldn’t leave the past behind and wanted to rewind. For all the times your mind obsessed over a concern, perhaps money you had to earn, or how to increase your return, so on the same thoughts you would churn until your head would ache and burn, when stress became stubborn, constant and nocturn and ruminating turned into a detrimental pattern. For every time your mind made up a dramatic story, a mental purgatory with an endless repertory. For all the times your mind made a mountain out of a molehill, against your will stress made you ill, you just needed to chill so you took a pill. For every time you had a burden to solve, come to a resolve but your problems just seemed to evolve. When your imagination became stressful, just plain painful. For all the moments of indecision, wether to listen to your intuition or your logical cognition. For all the times you felt pressure, questioned by a demanding oppressor. Know there’s someone here to not telling you to “just relax”, but handing you a worry jar. Without any wise advice other than to listen to your heart. There’s someone here to remind you breath and run through your pros and cons list. There’s someone here with whom to brainstorm, your worries transform and something relaxing perform…

In your illness, you are not alone… When the medicines just don’t seem to work, when the doctors don’t know what’s going on, when you just want your biology to cooperate and to be healthy once again. In your physical, mental, emotional impairment, despite all that keeps you incapacitated… There’s someone here who’s been there too, now holding onto hope with you, saluting you for your strength in the face of ill health and encouraging you not to give up. You will win this wellness fight, you will heal and you will thrive. You will find the remedy to cure your malady because you believe in positivity…

In your mistakes and your regrets, know you are not alone…. For all the times your ego was deflated and your grand plans never consolidated, when you were utterly devastated. For all the times you chocked, those words were never evoked, your intentions weren’t invoked, your proposals were revoked, things just didn’t go as you hoped. For all the times you fell flat on your face and encountered disgrace, felt like a hopeless case, stuck in an adverse place. For all the times you felt you were swimming against the current, your path was errant seemed apparent, the world was noncompliant, instead it was being defiant, you were up against a cruel giant. For all the times you felt like the biggest fool, prone to ridicule and treated yourself cruel. For all the times you just couldn’t forgive yourself, when the enemy was your own self. For all the things looking back, you wished you had said and done, all the missed opportunities, unexplored possibilities, unexploited abilities, suppressed impulsivities, alleged liabilities, perceived fallibilities in light of uncertain probabilities and pre-cautious proclivities. There’s someone here who’s been there too to remind you that what matters is you tried and weren’t afraid to fly, fear defy, your courage testify and tenacity exemplify, so your mistakes you will rectify and your victories will multiply. When you feel disheartened, chin up for trying. Life is a learning curve, no ones perfect, so errors come to expect, it’s not an inborn defect, you just can’t always be correct, there’s nothing wrong with your intellect, so don’t lose your self respect and instead confidence reflect. There’s someone here to remind you to go easy on yourself for at some point those regrets were exactly what you wanted, otherwise you wouldn’t have acted, but you dared and experimented, it all went as destiny intended for your knowledge to be upgraded and another lesson learned consolidated. Hindsight is always 20/20, mistakes are ordinary and although they might be awry they make you hardy and savvy, so greet nicely and use them wisely. Remember it’s never too late start over, you can still recover, of the world you are an explorer, inner strength you will discover, even if you have to go slower, you are only becoming stronger. Sometimes life does give second chances, so don’t dwell on your current circumstances and keep on making advances…

In your struggle, you are not alone… For all the times when you felt completely overwhelmed, when nothing seemed to go your way, it was all hazy and gray, you carried a deep dismay and became a sad display, wanting to throw it all away or runaway from all the disarray, yearning for a sunnier day. For every time you felt misunderstood, like the world was all aloof… For all the times you felt you were running out of strength, it all too intense, your problems seemed immense, you were tired of pretence, challenged in every sense, so you prayed for extra defence. For all the times you were stuck in a dark place, perhaps a bad habit trying to replace but the cravings were too intense that you just couldn’t tolerate so relapse would replay and then the guilt would suffocate, from your conscience you couldn’t escape, the mistakes you couldn’t erase so the problem would complicate and a vicious cycle would replicate.
For all the times you couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, it was all a constant struggle, you were surrounded by trouble, your world was all a jumble and you had started to crumble. There’s someone here who understands you ain’t super human, you don’t always have to have a plan, although you may feel pressure to be a “top-gun” and get it all done, the reality is not always fun you are allowed to come undone. You are allowed to feel tired and uninspired. You are allowed to have had enough and want to leave it all behind… It’s ok to unwind, however not by hardship be defined or to adversity confined but instead once realigned wisdom find, become kind and of sound mind, of service to mankind…

In your humanity, you are not alone… There’s someone here also made of flesh and bones, another sentient, animated soul taking on a temporal physical role… In your preference for certainty, battling internally, wondering about eternity. In your wanting to be special, somehow differential, you are indeed intrinsically essential, donned with a unique potential. In your ever changing identity, blotchy integrity, mental complexity, emotional intensity, spiritual tendency, need for transcendency, beyond pleasing aesthetically and succeeding financially, regardless of race and theology and any other different philosophy or separating ideology. In your wild imagination, ingenious creation. In your endless contradictions, quirks and addictions, all your ambitions and afflictions, in all your aversions and leisurely diversions. In your inclination for indulging in pleasures and desires, searching for what your soul requires… In your wrestling with God, filling that existential void. In your need to control, life taking its toll… In never giving up hope, always learning to cope no matter how steep the slope, walking in life’s tightrope. In being your own worst critic, harshly analytic, sometimes fatalistic, not wanting to be a cynic but remaining optimistic, aiming to be realistic, ever artistic with a stroke of mystic. In your vulnerability, most important ability. In your mortality, sobering reality. In your constant search for meaning, incessant thinking, dreaming, seeking, needing, breathing, feeling, living… There’s someone here who bleeds the same blood and breaths the same air, a mirror reflection extending a fraternal hand, looking into your eyes, past the facade and pantomime. There’s someone here who speaks your silent language, no words necessary, hearts speak directly, always truthfully and valiantly, tirelessly… There’s someone here too, someone like you, someone like me, someone human, all too human…